Sex, Drugs & Geocaching

Hygieia

Looking for a geocache in Edinburgh. The GPS device took me to the banks of Water of Leith, the river flowing through the city. The place was nearby the centre of the city, yet far away from the traffic noise. Dusk was falling when I approached the GPS zero point on a foothpath from the upriver direction under thick canopy of trees, and in the distance I saw something like a small ancient round temple, with columns and all. Inside there was a statue of a Greek goddess Hygieia. This mysterious building is about 250-year-old well-house made to protect the St. Bernard's Well, the water of which was famous for its healing powers.

The GPS told that the geocache was hidden next to the well-house, down the footpath closer to the river. I stared in awe this phantasmagoria of historical architecture, ancient deity and magical water and was just about to descent the stairs to the riverfront when I happened to peek down across the stone railing. I saw a huge pair of bare breasts. I gasped and pulled my head back. Think! Think! Nah, look again! I thought, and I peeked down again. This time I saw also the rest of the lady and a guy next to him. They were snogging passionately on a bench.

Well-House of St. Bernard's

Just my luck, they're getting lucky, and I can't find my geocache! I tried approaching the cache site from another, the downriver direction - maybe the cache would be just next to the lascivious couple, but out of their visibility. No way, soon I realised that they are practically sitting on the container. Discouraged, I sat on another riverfront bench nearby and thought of what to do.

Then a man with his young son came from downriver direction, walked past me straight towards the well and the naughty couple. I had some hopes that maybe the smooching couple would stop because of them, leave, and I could find the cache. No way - the father came back to me, horrified, and told his 9-year-old got more than a eyeful of something inappropriate. I told him I had a kind of a problem with the lustful huggers too, and had a nice chat about geocaching with them. The man said they actually had found the cache earlier, since the well is their favourite place, and they come here often. We left these naughty people finish whatever they were up to.

Water of Leith

At the next day noon I came to St. Bernard's Well again. This time there was a man sitting on the same bench eating his lunch here. I really didn't feel like waiting him to leave, and I was leaving Edinburgh soon, so against all the principles of geocaching I told him about the hobby and that I was here to look for a hidden container. He was politely interested in geocaching, and finally having a chance to go search that bloody cache, I managed to find it in a matter of seconds. As I signed the cache logbook the man, having already finished his lunch, casually rolled a joint of weed and started to smoke it. I placed the geocache back to its crevice, and the reefer-man left the magical well with me. At the street we shook hands and parted.


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